I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
