my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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