Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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