Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
