I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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