You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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