He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
