When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize