dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
