8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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