Bisexual people are plain selfish.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
