I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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