your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
