I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
