so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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