U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My first STD was from a foam party
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
