So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
