Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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