Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
