New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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