I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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