Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
