Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My nipple is on Facebook.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
