Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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