So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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