This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
