She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
