your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
