is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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