another moral hangover. fuck.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
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I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
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I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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