My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
