no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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