dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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