Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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