somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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