I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
