How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you have feelings for this penis?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
