dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
