absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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