I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
