i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
