Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
