He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
