I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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