I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
