My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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