If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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