I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
