Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
