I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize