Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
