wat bout pragnant strippers??
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
