Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
