# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
