thus making me awesome and them whores
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
