Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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