Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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