What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
