fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
