Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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