ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
