If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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