is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
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Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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