i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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