I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
