What a fucking waste of an outfit
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She told me I should be a condom model.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
