Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
only if we run a train.
done.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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