he wants to bone in the snuggie
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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